Sometimes you have to experience things in your own flesh to know what it feels like. This is fully applicable to parent-child relationships. Many times children get angry with our parents for things that over time we understand and realize that we do ourselves. And you have to be a mother to understand the immense love that your mother felt for you and to see all the effort she made to achieve your happiness.
The human brain is guided by love, as it is one of the most present human emotions in the day-to-day life of the human being. We are social beings, our neural structures and our neurotransmitters develop based on the daily interactions we have with those around us. People need love and security to grow, to develop and to evolve , in addition to the attention of parents who know how to take care of their children when they need it.
BEING A MOTHER MEANS ALWAYS BEING THERE
During the nine months of pregnancy, babies are very protected. When they are born they need to feel that same sense of security thanks to skin- to-skin contact , feeling cared for and perceiving familiar smells. The most important thing is that you show your child that you will always be by his side, through the good and the bad .
However, that does not mean that you have to ignore everything and never scold them for fear that they will feel less loved, since when they are parents they will understand you better than anyone. You have to know how to educate a child well by following a series of principles such as: scolding him if they swear, if they feel jealous of others, if they break something, if they hit their siblings or if they do not respect others. Having children is also letting them assume the consequences of their actions, in this way we encourage responsibility from a young age.
To ensure the development of strength and emotional well-being of your children, it is necessary to educate with love and promote closeness and attachment during the first years of their life. In fact, there are several theories that explain that when your child is a baby you do not have to attend to him every time he cries because this is how he is taught to be independent with the idea of ensuring emotional maturity tomorrow. Even so, it is true that something you cannot fight for is the instinct that a mother has during her first years of life.
LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS
When having children, the feeling of love has to be continuous in every aspect of human life. And it is that the love that is given to a child from his childhood determines his adult love . But now, the eternal doubt of a father or a mother is to know if their children consider them good fathers or mothers, if their children feel loved, if they really know how to convey all the love they feel for them, that same love that sometimes they are ashamed to ask their own children directly if they really receive it.
Do not be overwhelmed, the best love you can give a child is unconditional love . Do not be frustrated by how your child feels, because surely you feel the greatest love in the world towards him and they themselves know that their parents are the people who love them the most and feel protected, their love is reciprocal.
To educate a child in love is to educate him in mental health. The type of love that children need is unconditional love, as it is the greatest legacy that can be offered, a love that they need especially when they are younger. If a child spends his entire childhood without feeling that love from his parents, insecurities or fears will have negative consequences in his adult life . These children will become adults laden with emotional deficiencies that will cause them a perpetual feeling of unhappiness. To be a mother and have children who grow up with confidence, you have to give them pure and true love.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOOD
On the other hand, when you are a mother , you understand certain moods that your mother had as a result of your actions . The physical and emotional state, insecurities and fears influence the way we give love to our children, but that does not mean that it is a bad thing, because all people have the right to go through different moments in their life, good and not so good, which doesn’t make you a worse parent.
As advice, if you cannot spend a lot of time with your child, try to know when he is sad and pay attention to his mood , never rule out the possibility of why he is like this. In some cases, you can reach out to teachers for information to help you uncover any changes in attitude.
GIVE A GOOD EDUCATION
Another very important point when you want to be a mother is that your children have to feel that you respect them, that is, they have to see that you are an understanding mother, with empathy … but never teach them to manipulate, blackmail, or give them prizes or punishments . An environment of non-violence must be ensured where communication and dialogue prevail in order to leave behind any mishap and danger that frightens the child.
It is also very important that you do not beat your head thinking about whether your child would be happy with more things than he has or thinking if you take care of him the best you can, because having children is knowing that you have to educate them from honesty and gratitude. It is true that they have to be happy, but that they learn that they are happy with little and do not give them everything they ask for.
One of the fundamental things that you have to keep in mind is that not because you like something or think in a way, your child has to like it or has to think in the same way. Each person is different and your child has to feel that love that you feel regardless of their tastes, thoughts or ideologies. Your son did not come into the world to fulfill your frustrated dreams or to feed your ego.
Just like you thought when you were little, now from your role as a mother you should know that your children are independent beings who must develop their own passions and tastes . In addition, on many occasions it is better because that way you leave your comfort zone and see beyond what you never imagined before. Your child has to always feel himself, he does not have to pretend anything in front of anyone for fear of what you might think. He has to feel that he can achieve what he sets out to do himself. Always advise him with words in which you do not judge him and love your child as he is, not as you want him to be.
YOU ARE THEIR EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW
One of the most important tasks as a mother is knowing how to enhance the different talents that our children have. Always keep in mind that your child is unique and wonderful, because comparisons are hateful and damaging, but do n’t go too bragging about him because he will be ashamed and when he is older he may do the opposite with his children to avoid falling into the same mistake .
Do not give him an example of competition, do not force him to be the best in the class or the best in the sport he practices, nor do you scold him if he gets less marks than a friend of his. Keep in mind that you are his example to follow and his best motivation, but you have to know how to encourage him properly, always from his own work, effort and self-improvement, never from others. The love that you send him does not go unnoticed, and it is a very powerful feeling capable of enhancing the best of the human being in life .
Last but not least, you have to spend time with your child and I do not mean to be with him at home, but to sign up together to an activity or a workshop, enhances that relationship between mother and child that when he grows up he will appreciate and transmit the same way to your children . It is not about pointing them to some sport or activity that they like, but also about accompanying them and spending time together.
We must try to live valuable experiences with our children so that they remain marked and when they are older they can remember them as something beautiful. And be careful, I do not mean the amount of time you have to spend with him necessarily, but the quality of this time. You should try to give them valuable time every day in which your attention is present both in him and in what you are sharing. You can eat together, go for a walk or read. Dedication, attention and affection forge the basis of your child’s happiness .