Teenagers, even if they don’t want to show you what they need you, do it … a lot. They need you by their side, they need to feel your affection even if they sometimes snort when you hug them. They need to know that you are still their guide and that you will be by their side no matter what. For your children to know that you are really by their side they need to see and feel that you believe in them and when you do, then they will begin to believe in themselves.
BELIEVE IN YOUR COMPETITION
In order for your teenager to realize that you really believe in him, you will have to assign him basic tasks and responsibilities. No matter how lazy he shows you, he needs to see that you trust his ability to get things done. Don’t take on your responsibilities because your teenager hasn’t done things the way you wanted them to.
This will happen in any setting, be it school or home. You need to give him instructions or ideas on how he should do things, but don’t do things for your children. Allow him to complete his task on his own, even if he makes a mistake. When you allow them to work without your help, no matter how difficult it is, you are conveying to them that you trust their abilities. Over time, you will also learn to believe in your own ability.
HELP YOUR TEENAGER SET REASONABLE GOALS
Nothing kills self-confidence faster than trying to achieve something that cannot be achieved. While you never want to discourage your teen from trying something new or working hard to get something they want, you still need to be reasonable about this. If none of your goals are achievable, no matter how hard you work, this is just causing you to fail and eventually lose your self-confidence. Instead, help her set goals that will require hard work and perseverance, but are still within her grasp if she applies herself and is persistent and persistent.
PRAISE THEIR CHARACTER
Positively reinforce behaviors such as generosity, empathy, cooperation, leadership skills, responsibility, and courage. Parents often only praise their children for their academic successes and athletic achievements. While it’s important to complement the hard work your child puts into these things, school and sports don’t have a lifelong character. Focus on the things that make your child a good person.
DON’T RESCUE HIM
No parent likes to see their teenager go through something difficult. Whether it is a bad friend or facing the consequences of a poor choice, it is good that your child experiences these difficulties. Also, once the challenge has been solved, your teen will feel much more confident. After all, they just went through something difficult and survived without mom or dad softening the blow.
TEACH HIM TO BE ASSERTIVE, BUT NOT AGGRESSIVE
Many adolescents do not know how to be assertive naturally and need some guidance in order to defend themselves without offending or hurting others. In this sense, it is very important that they understand the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. You have to explain that aggressive children try to force other people to think like them or do things their own way.
Meanwhile, assertive children are respectful of other people’s differences and ideas, but are not afraid to affirm their own beliefs and ideas. Remember, assertive children feel comfortable defending themselves when someone says or does something hurtful or different from their ideas. They learn to say no in a healthy way.
DO NOT MAKE COMPARISONS
Very often parents make the mistake of comparing their children. They might even label them “smart” and “athletic.” Or the “tall” and the “short”. But not only can these kinds of comparisons lead to envy and sibling rivalry, it can also cause sibling bullying. Instead, it is necessary to appreciate the individuality and special gifts of each adolescent without comparing them to each other. You should also avoid comparing your children to other children you know. While it may not mean anything to you, it can diminish the way your kids view themselves.