The experts are clear about it, if a marriage has low conflicts and there are children, it is better to try to solve those little problems for the good of the family. You cannot abandon such a big commitment at the first change, children need to see how their parents fight for the emotional stability of all. If at the least, the parents leave the ship … what will the children feel?
For some, divorce is a necessary step. For others, those in low-conflict marriages, divorce is not necessary and sometimes you have to think twice before taking this complicated step, especially for children. Divorcing without trying to fix the marriage when it can be perfectly restored is a mistake that will seriously affect children’s emotions. Instead, there are other circumstances where divorce is necessary and children benefit from it (when parents get along very badly and there are tough fights every day, for example).
There are those who think that divorce is when adults take everything that matters in a home: family, security, the feeling of being loved, protection … and destroy everything, thinking only of themselves. There is increasing information about how divorce affects children. The happiness that seems lost can be recovered. Sometimes trying to regain love through couples therapy can be a good idea. Investing money in therapy before lawyers … both for you as a couple and for your children.
CONSEQUENCES OF DIVORCE ON YOUR CHILDREN
Between 3 and 5 years
Children at this age are likely to regress from the most recent developmental milestone reached. Additionally, sleep disturbances and an exacerbated fear of separation from the custodial parent are common. Usually there is a great deal of longing for the non-custodial parent.
Between 6 and 8 years
At this age, they may cry every time they are separated from a parent. There may be concern because children can invent different reality to alleviate their emotional lameness. Perhaps the children think that the parents may get back together one day. They can have a hard time when it comes to the concept of the permanence of the divorce.
Between 8 and 11 years
At this age, anger and the feeling of helplessness is the predominant emotional response in these types of situations. Like the other stages of development, these children experience a grief reaction to the loss of their previously intact family. There is a greater tendency to label a “good” parent and a “bad” parent. These children are very susceptible to trying to care for or keep their father or mother ‘happy’ at the expense of their own needs.
Between 12 and 18 years old
Adolescents are prone to respond to their parents’ divorce with depression, suicidal ideation, and sometimes violent episodes in their behavior. These children tend to focus on the moral issues surrounding divorce and will often judge their parents’ decisions and actions.
Many teens begin to have anxiety problems or develop fears about their future relationships and romantic relationships. Although they can also show compassion for their parents without neglecting their own needs.
Divorce can have significant and life-altering effects on the well-being of children. Parental divorce affects almost every aspect of a child’s life, including the parent-child relationship, emotions and behavior, psychological development, and coping skills. Before you think about divorce, ask yourself these questions:
-You sure it can’t be fixed?
-Do you love your partner?
-Is your ‘happiness’ more important or fighting for family happiness?
The debate is served!