If you are getting divorced, follow these tips so that your children do not feel that you are destroying the family.
Even if your partner has broken up over sensitive issues, if you have children, it is worth doing a little of your part so that the children do not feel how their family is totally destroyed . One idea is to stay close to the ex so that the children can be close to both parents, although this idea may not work for everyone, because being close means being close both physically and emotionally.
In reality, it may not be comfortable for parents, but it is necessary for children, otherwise they may feel that one of the parents is too far away from their lives, something that can undoubtedly affect their emotional development. It is important to know some strategies so that if you plan to divorce , at least you do not destroy the feeling of family that your child has.
DIVORCE AND CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT THINGS
The people we marry are not the people we divorce, because people change … but you are a parent for life. Even if a couple breaks up and divorces, it is important that as parents they focus on what really matters: respecting each other and keeping things stable for the sake of the children.
People divorce in hopes of getting some emotional justice. Divorce is a transitional process, it will create turmoil in the whole family and also in the children. It is important to be able to regulate your emotions and understand your own triggers. Allowing anger, pain, betrayal, and sadness to get in the way can escalate the divorce and cost a lot more financially, but also emotionally.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN FIRST, THEN YOUR MONEY
It is important to resolve issues related to children, such as who will have legal and physical custody, as quickly as possible. Your children are the beings you love the most on the planet and therefore, you must behave accordingly, regardless of the circumstances in which you find yourself. If both parents know when to see their children and have a voice in their lives, money issues are easier to deal with.
Legal custody covers who will make important decisions regarding health care and education; and physical (or residential) custody covers where the children will be housed, and when. A parent can have full custody or shared . Children’s schedules may change as children grow and mature.
BETTER IF IT’S AN AMICABLE DIVORCE
Resolving a divorce between attorneys for both parties, called an “amicable divorce,” costs much less than litigation. And it can be more personalized. The judges do not take into account personal needs and divide things taking into account what the Law says only.
If both parties and the attorneys are having trouble reaching an agreement on their own, there are two options to avoid litigation: mediation or arbitration. Both involve a neutral third party. A mediator, for example, can help both spouses and their lawyers make a decision, but they cannot make a decision themselves. No one is really happy because successful mediation means everyone is committed. Arbitration, by contrast, is a court proceeding (though not in a courtroom), and the arbitrator can make decisions for the divorcing couple.
RESIST THE URGE TO SPEAK ILL OF YOUR EX IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN.
Even if you feel like saying negative things about your ex, just don’t do it. He is the father or mother of your children and if he treats them well and behaves as he should with them, he deserves your respect for that alone. Now the children have two homes, and in both homes it feels like family, because it is a family (for your children) in two different homes. You cannot insult that part of his life that is also important.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.