My friends are already parents and I don’t have a partner
If you have friends with a partner and children and you have not yet started a family, what should you do? First, don’t feel out of place.
It’s never fun when you live the single life and you realize that all your friends are having babies . It is necessary that you do not feel bad to be able to handle the situation that torments you well. In a perfect world, you and your best friends would live parallel lives … when you have a partner you should also have it and when you have children you should also have them … But the reality is different.
It is possible that you are still single and that after one date after another, you wonder why your friends have been so lucky and you so little. And you start to have “baby fever” and others ask you when “you are going to settle down”, without even understanding that you may or may not want to have babies, but the decision is yours and not others’.
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LIVE AT YOUR OWN PACE
The reason you don’t like being single while your friends are pregnant is because of comparison. You are comparing yourself and your life with that of your friends. You are thinking that you should be more advanced and do exactly what they are doing. And part of that is feeling sorry for yourself … Why are you still single and struggling to find a relationship, let alone a second date, when your friends seem to have it all figured out? What’s wrong with you? Of course, there is nothing wrong with you and you don’t need to compare yourself to your best friends.
Live according to your own timeline and make the decisions that seem right to you at this point in your life. So what if they are taming themselves and spending money on baby music classes and new sofas? You can still do whatever you want, whether you’re planning to go to a European country this summer or saving to buy a new computer just for yourself.
Once you start to focus on yourself and your world, stop thinking so much about what others are doing and don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has their life, at their own pace.
REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE
Instead of thinking, “All my friends are having babies and I’m still single,” think of everything you have. Sure, you may not be raising a pregnant two-year-old (and don’t even have a boyfriend), but you do have a lovely apartment. You have a job that makes you happy and that you really want to do every day. You love doing yoga or pilates, you make great lasagna, you are an avid reader … You don’t need more to be happy today. There are so many amazing things about you and you have so many good things in your life … that it is enough to smile.
Practicing gratitude may seem cheesy, and yet it ‘s the best way to feel better when it comes to something like this.
DON’T ASSUME THAT YOUR FRIENDS’ LIVES ARE EASIER
It’s very easy to think that just because your friends are married and have babies, that must mean they are super happy. You imagine that their lives are so easy that they don’t care about anything in the world. Not like you, of course. You are the single girl who has to work hard to find love, and sometimes you feel like all you do is go first on a first date.
The truth is, your friends may be jealous of you . Yes, of you. They are not automatically happy 24/7 just because they have relationships and families. They still have their own problems. It’s just that their problems look different than yours. As you struggle to find a partner and stress over your love life, your friends are having pregnancy problems, figuring out how to fit children into their marriage, and suffering in ways you don’t know about.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.