How to help your son or daughter enter puberty

Puberty is the change that occurs when the body begins to develop from a child to an adult , normally it can occur in our children between eight and thirteen years in girls and between nine and fifteen years of age in boys who they always grow a little slower than girls. The pituitary gland that we all have begins at this time to secrete special hormones, which depending on the sex, will act in one or other parts of the body more actively.

This time of puberty that begins when young people begin to develop , several changes are noted, both physical and in their behavior. The body begins to grow faster than usual and in boys, their sexual organs begin to generate the hormone testosterone and sperm, in turn, in girls, estrogens begin to originate in their ovaries and their body begins to prepare to start the period , which will allow in the future to become pregnant and for both a long period of emotional changes begins.

As parents we must be next to our children to convey to them that these changes are normal, that there is nothing wrong with them, since they may try to hide these changes, since they will grow hair in various areas of the body, often pimples will appear on their faces, back, chest or legs in addition to changes in their sweat glands. In boys there is also a change in the voice, in which it becomes more serious and there are imbalances in the timbre. One of the most controversial issues is that sexual feelings develop to a much greater extent, which generate changes in the interaction between boys and girls.

DON’T IGNORE OUR CHILDREN

It is possible that at this time, with its continuous mood swings, disputes, arguments and tantrums , we end up letting our children do whatever they want, it is not recommended that we ignore them since at this time their will is very fickle , very influenceable. They can be caught by friends, acquaintances, colleagues who lead them to do or want things that they really do not want to do, so, although a young man of the “turkey” age can be a nuisance and often confrontations of ideas and freedoms, we must not forget that part of these behaviors are due to a boil of hormones that enhances emotions, especially in adolescence and that cannot be easily controlled.

Just as it is important not to ignore our children, we also have to learn to respect them. Until puberty they surely had nothing to hide from us, instead now they can find shame in their actions and their changes . We have to know how to leave them a space of privacy, always controlled, but in which they can be safe, without continuous parental supervision since otherwise they will rebel against and close themselves even more than usual in this time of adolescence. .

INFORM THEM ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING

As we have commented before, there are many changes in this age of growth of young people, and it is likely that they do not understand what is happening, or that they receive false or incomplete information from the internet, television or their friends. This is why we parents have to find a way to transmit to them the tranquility, the normality of these changes , try to understand their behaviors and never demonize these changes, since we will lose the trust they have in us and they will begin to hide everything. that surrounds their lives, and then it will be much more difficult to help them . We have to find the time to talk to them, a relaxed moment and talk to them sincerely and without hiding any aspect of the news that happens at this time of life.

It is also important to have a little sexual talk during adolescence , tell them what is happening, what may happen, that they should be careful. Although we do not like it, we must comment on all the types of protection that exist when having a sexual relationship, since even if we tell them that perhaps they should wait, it is possible that they will be in this situation. It is better for them to be cautious and safe than to have problems and carelessness, as well as possible bad experiences that affect their future development as sexually healthy people.

The most advisable thing is that before adolescence we have previously spoken with our children, throughout their growth from childhood. By doing it honestly and answering their questions, we will have this much smoother path in the face of puberty , but when this has not happened and we have to talk to them when we start to see them change , we have to find the ideal moment in which they feel safe in your space. In the case of girls, it is very important to have had a previous conversation, for example about menstruation .

WHAT SHOULD WE TELL THEM WHEN WE HAVE A CHAT WITH THEM

Above all, we must assure our children that these changes are totally normal, everyone has had to go through them and there is no problem . Insecurity, acne , mood swings, facial and body hair, and the growth of our body is something normal that should not worry you more than necessary.

In girls it is certain that during preadolescence you have to start wearing a bra . It is also possible that our daughter is the first or one of the few in the school or group of friends who have to start taking it, and we have to convey to them that nothing happens, some people simply get the growth stage sooner or later, they shouldn’t feel weird.

With boys, it is possible that they begin to have nocturnal pollutions , like girls with menstruation, it is possible that they are scared and do not understand what happens to them, we must have talked to them about this issue, again, convey to them that it is something normal, they are not rare or different from other young people.

With menstruation, we must also introduce the methods that are commonly used to contain the period, such as compresses or tampons, and explain how they work.

It is a time that can be one of the most difficult for parents, especially in single-parent families , but it is important to keep our children informed so that they live it in the healthiest emotional way.