Why the first two years of marriage are so important

If you are married you know that marriage can have ups and downs at any time and that it is sometimes difficult to face them . If this happens at the beginning of the marriage it is alarming because it should not happen. How a couple deals with their first two years of marriage can make or break the marriage in the future.

THE FIRST TWO YEARS ARE THE KEY

According to Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas at Austin, he made it clear that according to his studies the newlywed couples and the changes in their union during the first two years was a harbinger of what their long-term marital destiny would be like.

If they were not good, after the age of 13 there could be disappointment, a decrease in love, apathy in the couple … and they would end up divorcing. On the other hand, people who had a good relationship the first two years of marriage could have a stable marriage bond.

MARRIAGE PROBLEMS IN THE FIRST TWO YEARS ARE A BAD FEELING

Couples who divorced within the first two years of marriage were negative within their first two months of marriage. This is a sign of trouble in a newlywed couple, which begins in disappointment within the first year. Couples who are happily married are couples who were able to have positive feelings about their partner throughout the initial period of the relationship.

After the wedding you can find yourself somewhat depressed and this is normal, especially after the honeymoon, when the routine comes back to life. This is a bit like post-vacation syndrome, which returns to routine after the euphoria of the holidays. In addition, that the preparation of the wedding is very time consuming and perhaps you did not realize your moods and the stress that you were going through. Once all that stress is over, you can cope with a sense of loss (like the disappointment you feel after the holidays).

You should not ignore these feelings of sadness that you may feel and be prepared to overcome them. Keeping the spark of love and romance alive is one of the priorities of any newlywed couple. Other goals to avoid marriage problems are:

-Know how to manage money

-Division of housework

-Agree to have or not have children

-Agree in the discipline to use in the children

-Have time to enjoy as a couple

-Enjoy sex

-Enjoy your own time and space

-Have good communication

-Work in respect

-Learn to deal with conflict

-Don’t allow pride to come between you

-Talk about the expectations of the relationship

-Improves communication

On many occasions, couples avoid topics of conversation to avoid conflicts, but this, in the long term, is a worse conflict, so it is better to talk about topics that may be tense, to find the best solutions.

RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR

There are some alarms that must be taken into account during the first two years of marriage and seek a solution as soon as possible if you really want to save the relationship:

-Lack of romance

-Lack of privacy

-Incapacity of fun together

-Selfishness

-Fear of conflict

-Lack of respect

-Excess time commitment for other things

-Excess spending

-Too much dependence on parents

– Sexual problems

-Substance addiction or abuse

-Emotional or physical abuse

-Maltreatment

-Unreal expectations

-Married too young or for the wrong reasons

If you are concerned about your marriage, you should have an honest conversation with your partner about what is happening. Without guilt, without reproaches, with messages such as: ‘I feel’, ‘I think we are both fighting so that our thing does not end …’, etc. You need to find out which options may be suitable for both of you. If the first two years are difficult, you have to find solutions.

The normal thing is that they are the happiest, because it is a time of intimacy and discovery. A foundation is built to set the best stage for a family. Build love and your children will grow up happy.