Don’t apologize for living your life – motherhood is that too
Motherhood means much more than being a mother … you must not forget about yourself! You should also be good for yourself and your family.
The parents of today are quite sure that they are not living the moment, even when captured thousands of moments worthy of Instagram … Part of the human condition is to believe in a more perfect place called the past. And in this mythical past, parenting was much easier than it is today.
In the past there were not so many distractions from all the devices and social media available today, parents in the past could focus on their children . In the analog land of yesteryear, there were family dinners and healthy game nights, with fathers and mothers spending tons of quality time with their children.
Index
CURRENT PARENTS: CRASHED PARENTS
Today’s parents are a stressed bunch, not surprising since they are part of the “anxious generation.” Today’s parents have more stress and anxiety than any other generation. If you already had anxiety before becoming parents, wait until you add the duties of caring for a completely helpless little human.
Today’s parents are overwhelmed because they don’t know if they are doing better or worse than their parents or ancestors, but this is worth remembering: you are the best father (or mother) there is to your children, even on your worst days. You spend quality time with your children even if you have to go to work, but you work because your children need sustenance. You keep them safe, you worry about them and everything that happens to them, you read them stories, you stimulate their curiosity and you don’t usually say things like: “No, because I said so.” You don’t hit them, you don’t wash their mouths with soap.
NOBODY IS GOOD ENOUGH
The reason you don’t realize how much better you are is that you live in a time when you can never be a good enough parent. You are the collateral damage of a parenting arms race. Today parents have an army of friends on social media offering advice, thousands of apps, bloggers, and websites, all dedicated to making you the perfect parent. Every fear, no matter how small , is amplified until it is all we can hear and thanks to the tribe (physical and virtual), overcome.
It is very easy to convince yourself that you are a bad parent because you check your work email too much on your phone while you are with your children. And you’re pretty sure parents in the past didn’t have this problem because they didn’t have phones or responsibilities like this. Today’s phones can distract you from being there for your kids in the park or on the playground . But at least you take your children to the park … before that didn’t used to happen, fathers worked all day and mothers stayed at home, working almost twice as much (house and children).
STOP APOLOGIZING FOR LIVING YOUR LIFE?
Stop apologizing for living your life. Relax, you are doing well, the best you can. If you think something is wrong, talk to a parenting professional for guidance. Remember, your child needs you to be by his side, but he also needs to see how you work, how you are a friend, how you have interests, how you know how to calm down. For all this, you will have to ignore him sometimes. You’ll have to send that text, check that email, and publish that post. While you do that, your child will only have to entertain himself for a while … and that, too, is something that it will be good for you to teach him.
Remember that your life is important, that you must be well so that your children are well too. They need to see you happy, they need you to protect and teach them, they need your patience, they need your unconditional love every day.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.