It shouldn’t happen, but sometimes there are parents who must deal with blows from their children in an uncontrollable outburst of anger. Being hit by your child is annoying, frustrating, and will make you feel embarrassed. For some parents it can also provoke hopeless feelings.
Perhaps if it happens to you, you are worried that you are doing something that you are failing as a parent. It is also possible that you feel so ashamed that you do not dare to ask for help … But if your child hits you, it is necessary that you first know how you should respond to the blows because depending on how you do it, it will influence the probability that your child hit you again, or not.
WHY DO CHILDREN HIT THEIR PARENTS?
There are reasons why children hit their parents, the main one is because they are angry and feel so much anger that they are not able to control that intense emotion. It is important that children learn to control feelings in a socially acceptable and healthier way for them to cuddle.
When a child hits his parents it is because he does not have good impulse control. They hit without thinking about the consequences or other ways to meet their needs. Paste can also be used as a manipulation tool. Sometimes children hit in an attempt to get away with it . A child who hits his mother when he says he doesn’t want to wait any longer hopes that those hits will change his mother’s mind and he can stop waiting.
SET CLEAR RULES
Children should know that hitting is inadmissible and that other members of a family should be treated with respect. Make it clear that hitting, biting or any type of aggression is not allowed in the home.
Frame the rule in a positive way whenever possible. Instead of saying “No hitting,” say, “Express your opinion with respect.” Talk to your child about the rules to make sure he understands the consequences of breaking the rules (the consequences should be well established).
TEACH APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR
It does not work just to say that they should not hit, you must teach children to be able to control their anger and express their emotions in a correct way. You can encourage your child to read a book, draw a picture , take a deep breath, or go to his room when he is feeling angry to calm that intense emotion before understanding it or looking for solutions to the conflict situation.
Children also need to understand their feelings and know that emotions are normal (such as sadness or frustration). Talk about the importance of dealing with feelings appropriately and help your child discover strategies to help him confront his emotions safely.
THE CONSEQUENCES MUST BE CLEAR
The consequences for each time your child hits must be very clear. Look for consequences that deter your child from wanting to use physical violence in the future to achieve his claims or to vent intense emotions in inappropriate ways. Some consequences can be:
- Time out to learn to calm down before continuing.
- Remove privileges, for example restricting access to the tablet for 24 hours.
- Restitution by performing an additional task.
- Reward system for when the child tends to hit frequently.
- Praise children for good behavior.
AVOID CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
It is essential not to use violence of any kind if you want to prevent children from hitting. If you tell him not to hit and hit him to recriminate bad behavior, you will confuse your child and he will think that hitting when he is angry is more than justified. Children learn more about behavior from what they see you do, rather than what they hear you say.