How to manage joint custody well

Relationships are not easy . Therefore, it is normal that we have experienced more than one difficult situation as a couple, with friends, with family or colleagues. However, when you have a child in common, things are not always as easy as it seems, since we have a great responsibility and a loved one who we do not want to hurt or leave aside.

Therefore, it is likely that your relationship or marriage did not work and that, the best thing for all, was that the couple separated or asked for a divorce. But when there are children involved, there are many things that must be borne in mind. So, even if you did not end up in the best possible way with your partner, you should have a cordial treatment with her if you want your child or children not to suffer the consequences of your lack of love, something that could affect them greatly.

By separating or divorcing your partner, you have most likely decided to have joint custody of your children . This means that they will spend time, perhaps the same amount, with one and the other. For example, with one during the week and with another on some weekends or take turns for a few weeks. Either way, you will have to see your ex more often than you might like , so you will have to learn to get along. Otherwise your children may notice this discomfort and they may not feel good or happy either.

Discover how to manage joint custody well, for the sake of your children and also so that you can feel happier and more rested when you have to see your ex-partner and enjoy the time you spend with your children to the fullest.

TRY NOT TO BE SPITEFUL

There are probably many reasons why you broke up with your ex partner. Maybe he did something to you that hurt a lot and that you may never forget. However, your children do not have to pay for this situation , since they will be totally innocent and will not know what happened to their parents. In addition, the resentment will only hurt yourself, it will make you suffer and it will not let you enjoy the time that you are going to spend with the children, so it is best that you try to forget what happened and focus on yourself and in your future.

Now you will see your children less, so you should try to make the most of the time you spend with them . Therefore, it is essential that you are calm and relaxed, so that you can all have a good time and you should not be suffering from what happened with your ex partner. Live in the present and try to rebuild your life, always bearing in mind that you now have a new responsibility and that you will have to adapt to the schedules of joint custody.

RESPECT THE SCHEDULES

If you want to have a cordial relationship with your ex-partner for the good of your children and joint custody, it is best that you always respect the hours that you previously agreed upon . The fact of being late or not complying during the days that you had committed to spending with your children can generate many tensions, not only with your ex-partner, but also with your children, who may feel that they are not important enough for you and you are not able to keep your promise or remember that you should see them.

Don’t use time management as revenge or to hurt your ex . Despite what may have happened between you in the past or how hurt you are, you must remember that you are in a different stage of your lives and that you must have a cordial treatment to be able to carry out joint custody well and that the children always feel happy and at ease.

KEEP UP APPEARANCES IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN

It is essential that you are always kind and polite to each other in front of the children. Otherwise they will notice the tension and they will not feel happy or at ease. Therefore, you must have a cordial treatment, with respect and good communication . This way you will know everything that has happened to the children when they were not with you and you can assure them that as parents, even if you are no longer a couple, you can give them the best.

On the other hand, do not speak ill of your partner in front of the children . It is his mother or father, so he should never hear bad words from you. Also, do not try to shower your children with gifts so that they prefer you. Remember that it is a joint custody, so both of you must respect each other and be at the same level, as you would as a couple, so that your children grow up with the best example and feel happy by your side, even when separated.

ASK A PROFESSIONAL FOR HELP

In the event that you cannot manage the tension that exists between you as an ex-partner and you believe that this could affect the children and the management of joint custody, it is best to go to a professional. A family psychologist will be able to guide you , both together and separately, to find the best way to manage your emotions and to be able to live with happiness and tranquility, making shared custody not a problem for the couple. Nor for the children, who will really be the ones who will suffer the most with this situation. Therefore, you should not be afraid to go to a professional if you see that things are not going well, since, in the long run, it will be the best option for joint custodygo well and so that you all feel happy during the time you spend together, as you deserve. Couples separate, it is normal, that is why it is essential that you learn to live together, with respect and good communication when you have one or more children in common, after the breakup.