How to talk to a manipulative or passive aggressive child

No child is born passive aggressive or manipulative , they are behaviors that they learn as they grow , especially from their closest environment. But it can happen that a child has this profile and that it is not easy to relate to him, or even to educate him . It is important to know how to treat these types of children so that you can receive the necessary education and turn that toxic personality into a healthier one.

MANIPULATION AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY

The passive aggressive personality does not require maturity and complex thought processes to carry it out. Even a young child is capable of passive-aggressive manipulation. If your child exhibits covert anger, you may feel frustrated and overwhelmed when interacting with him. Talking to a manipulative and passive-aggressive child can test your patience as you work to discourage these actions and teach different behaviors.

For this reason, we are going to give you some tools so that you are able to treat and educate a child with this type of behavior well. Thus, you can feel that you are in control of the situation and that it is not the situation that controls (or is out of control) you. Do not lose detail and follow these tips to make the situation improve.

PICK A MOMENT OF CALM

Pick a quiet time to talk about your child’s negative behaviors . Ideally, you should approach your child when there are no problems affecting their behavior. Explain to your child that you have noticed some problems that concern you, such as responding more slowly when you give an instruction, intentionally forgetting things you say to them, not doing their homework well, or putting off tasks that they have to do.

THERE WILL BE DEADLINES

Tell your child that there will be specific deadlines each time you assign a task or give him an order. In addition to the time frame, you will also create a specific consequence if your child does not complete the task or order within the time frame.

OFFER INCENTIVES

In addition to keeping the above in mind , it is also a good idea to offer your child an incentive for cooperation and compliance by having a reward for prompt compliance. If you give him until dinner time to complete a task and he finishes it an hour before dinner, he may have 20 minutes of playtime or he may stay up 30 minutes later that night.

ASK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

Ask your child about any angry feelings he may have to help resolve the passive aggression.  It should be “safe” to trust and express feelings of anger or frustration whenever you need to. You could say something like: “Everyone feels angry and scared sometimes. If you feel angry or scared, you can always tell me about it and I will listen to you, then we will find a solution together so that you are better.”

LISTEN TO YOUR SON

Always listen to your child from the heart and more if he has negative feelings. Accept the feelings and provide an empathetic response such as, “I heard you are feeling frustrated right now. Instead, you still have to do these tasks, even if you feel that way.

If you need help determining if your child is displaying passive-aggressive manipulative behavior, speak with a professional to have your child’s personality assessed. Examine how you feel whenever you interact with your child, no matter how old he is. If you feel angry, confused, helpless or helpless, it is more than likely that your child has a passive-aggressive behavior. If you feel calm and the situation has been resolved positively, it is likely that you have dealt with any misbehavior in the right way.