6 ways we can be pampering our children
We always talk about spoiling or pampering our children, but there are different ways we can be doing it without realizing it.
Today, this generation of parents is very conscious of wanting their children to be happy, competent and self-confident. Right now parents take into account that their children can grow up with a healthy self-esteem , and can relate to other people without problems, in addition to solving all their problems in the future with the help of their family without spoiling.
But, despite the good intentions that parents have, it is possible that this generation of new young people has even less self-esteem than the previous ones for trying to pamper them too much.
It is likely that in our attempt to seek the happiness , confidence and self-esteem of our children by always being above them and helping them with everything it may be counter-productive for them falling into spoiling, since they will not be striving for themselves to develop their skills , face challenges and risks and manage to overcome them. It is often possible that we pamper our children too much instead of teaching them the important and necessary values to be productive, confident and healthy members of a society.
By pampering our children too much, we put less resistance in their path, and therefore no longer be in a position to know their faculties and put them to the test.
The excessive worry or exaggerated pamper our children, actually creates more problems than solutions in normal growth and development of our children, both family, and between society and the challenges to be overcome. And these can be displayed in several ways:
Index
1. TREAT THEM AS IF THEY WERE SMALLER
One of the ways can be when we do for our children what they could do for themselves, creating a dependency and also removing the resistance to take actions. For example, cutting the food on the plate when our child is old enough to do it alone, or dressing them when our help would not be necessary. As parents, we should make sure that our child is capable of performing a task, teach them how to do it, and then leave them alone to do it for themselves. When children face challenges alone and manage to overcome them, they learn much more and faster than with the supervision of their parents.
2. BUY EVERYTHING FROM THEM
Spoiling is constantly giving and buying things to our children is a way of making them not expect to make any effort to get these things . As we currently live in a world with a large number of toys, gadgets, electronic toys … We may always want to give our child the best and newest so that nothing is missing, but contrary to what we believe, like Our children do not invest their money, energy or time in obtaining these gifts, they will not learn the value they really have for their personal growth. In addition, they must learn not to need so many things.
3. PUSH THEM A LOT
Sometimes we also help our children, or we try, beyond what they need, becoming counterproductive. Parents want their children to be successful, and they may work at it from birth, continually correcting them when they don’t do what they expect of them. You have to think about the difference between helping them when they need it and when we are putting too much pressure on our children and taking away some of their freedom.
4. OVERPROTECTION AND CONSTANT FEAR THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO THEM
If we overprotect our children we are also pampering them excessively. It is important that we protect our children from any danger but it can become a problem, although the current generation of children has less freedom and independence than previous ones, children should be free to explore on their own. These days we are constantly bombarded with horror stories that could happen to our children, but in reality our children are from the safest generations. We have to give our children the tools and skills so that they can live together in our society, and at the same time give them the space to be able to use these tools and skills for themselves and to be able to make mistakes along the way.
5. OVER-SUPERVISION
Another way can also be the excessive supervision of our children by their parents. Many parents are currently very involved in the lives of their children, in some cases becoming intrusive . While sons and daughters may be learning to fend for themselves, what they are not learning is the cooperation it takes to live with other people. With today’s busy pace of life, it is possible to be absent and preoccupied at the same time. Just a small change like having regular family dinner together can make a difference in getting to know your children better, who they hang out with, their friends, where they are going and what they are doing. This way we can stop being so worried and give them a little more freedom to develop their facets and skills without their parents watching at all times.
6. GIVE THEM PRIVILEGES
It is also an excess of pampering to give our children privileges without them having any kind of responsibility . Children learn very quickly that if they protest long enough , constantly and nonstop, busy parents will allow them to do what they want and get what they want from them as long as they stop protesting. As parents we must be clear with our children regarding the privileges we give them in exchange for the responsibility they must bear . Equally important is that as parents we follow discipline and we can instill it in our children, so that if they abuse their privilege, they must take the consequences. For example, our son does not leave the computer when we have agreed that he would turn it offConsequently, the next day you will not be able to use the computer.
In how to raise our children we must think both in the long term and in the short term. While it seems that pampering our children may only be for a few moments, in the long run it can be a high cost for children, their parents and ultimately for the society in which these children will thrive. We have to examine what we really want for our children and then ask ourselves if what we are doing with our children is helping them or perhaps harming them in their future adulthood.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.