During adolescence, many conflicts arise between children and parents that can make being at home a problem for the youngest and they decide that becoming independent from the family home is the right decision to solve their problems and be able to lead a quiet life. Normally, this decision is preceded by a rejection of the authority of their parents since they are in a phase of transition between being children and being adults .
For parents and children, it will be necessary to adjust to this change, but it will be necessary for both parties to understand each other so that the family does not have problems. It will not be more than a rebellious stage of the adolescent that if it is channeled in the correct way it is possible that their desire to become independent from home will disappear in the same way that they appeared.
HOW TO PREVENT A TEENAGER FROM WANTING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT
In the first place, what parents should consider is when there is a higher level of conflict with their children and that they use as a justification for wanting to become independent from their family. These will vary depending on the home in which this situation is occurring, but the bases for not reaching this point have to be laid years before carrying out a specific behavior , therefore it would be advisable to pay attention to certain aspects.
It must be clear that a child does not become rebellious overnight. The rebellion is feeding day by day in the conflicts that he has with his parents and that, believing himself victorious, he looks stronger . Even if you think it can cause more problems, parents have an obligation to impose themselves when it comes to the education of their children.
The actions taken by the children will depend on how the parents act. They know how to perfectly identify the strengths and weaknesses of their parents and will use them for their own benefit. If they see that by threatening to become independent from home they get what they are looking for, it will be a resource that they use even if they never actually do it .
Parents have to act like what they are. Their mission is to keep the family together and not be intimidated by threats that may come from their children . Punishment or strict rules set at the right time, can cause them to be imposed in such a way that it is clear to your children who they are under the care of until they reach the age of majority. The conversations with them must be clear, that they do not see any kind of crack and the punishments must be maintained.
Do not go overboard when it comes to imposing yourself. Yes, it is necessary for parents to be seen as an authority, since they are those people who have to take care of the minor until he is 18 years old, but neither do not give truce. The best thing is to reach the point of equilibrium where you can talk by negotiating. As a parent, you manage to take your child along the way and what you want, and the child may benefit more than with bad behavior or threatening to leave home .
DO NOT BE TOO PROTECTIVE OF YOUR SON, HE MUST LIVE
Respect your child. Many times the conflict that causes a child to become rebellious is the difference of opinions that they may have with their parents when it comes to acting. If you see that your child is not doing anything wrong, let him act as he sees fit . Possibly due to the age difference or lack of experience, your points of view will not be the same, but you learn from mistakes and he also has to have his in life.
SOLUTIONS FOR YOU TO COME TO YOUR SENSES
Normally, it would be enough to make him see the cons of leaving home with respect to what he has in it, but that would be quite complicated if our rebellious son does not see beyond his intentions and sees in almost everything a problem. Therefore, rather than focusing on the problem that they can become independent, their rebellion must be attacked directly, since what today is a threat of leaving home, tomorrow may be something else . For this there are different behaviors that can be carried out.
Don’t treat your child like a child. At these ages they already begin to look older since they are in a transition stage and it may be that a treatment not corresponding to that way of feeling can make them see that you still see them as a small child . Talk to him about any topic and try to talk about the problems he may have. Make him see that you consider him an almost adult person with whom you can talk things and not argue continuously.
Avoid criticizing your child’s wrongdoings. In the event that they are mistakes that he makes in life without great importance, let him make a mistake because it will serve as experience. If you are continually telling him what to do and criticizing all the decisions he makes regarding his life, he will end up rebelling .
YOUR CHILD IS GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME: ADOLESCENCE
In the event that you see that your child is having a bad day or is in a bad mood, keep your distance. With this you will ensure that there is no type of unnecessary conflict since in those circumstances everything is directed towards that, no matter how minimal the contact you have with him. Better leave it to its own devices and the mood will change .
Use the moments that the whole family has together to be able to talk about different things, take an interest in what he has done in his day, ask him how he is doing, bring up topics related to his tastes. Try to have a moment of cordiality between the whole family and thus be able to soften their character and not see so many problems at home .