Do you practice permissive parenting without realizing it?

Parents sometimes engage in permissive parenting almost without realizing they are doing it. They believe that they are doing what is best for their children at a certain time, but in reality, they are making things worse in the short and long term. Some parents who are allowed will hardly sue their children and will be there to protect them more than necessary.

They are usually very loving parents and so it seems, from the outside, that they are doing a good job with their children, but in reality … they offer few guidelines or rules or sometimes none at all. They do not expect their children to do things responsibly and unfortunately , they can seem more like a friend than an authority figure to their children, something that completely destabilizes the little ones.

TOO MUCH OVERPROTECTION

Permissive parents inadvertently have a tendency to be overprotective with their children and if children do not follow the rules they do not usually interpose consequences, in most cases, so as not to create a tense environment. They do not usually have structures in family schedules and justify any behavior by saying things like: “children are children.”

Some people liken permissive parenting to indulgent parenting because these parents make few demands on their children. Parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity. They avoid confrontation and try to get their children to regulate themselves almost always without their guidance.

ARE YOU A PERMISSIVE PARENT?

You will be a permissive parent if:

• • You have few rules or behavior at home

• • You don’t follow consistent home discipline

• • You are very affectionate with your children but you do not impose rules

• • There are times when you seem more like a friend than a father

• • You can use bribery to try to get your children to behave

• • There is hardly any structure in the home schedules

• • You emphasize your children’s freedom rather than responsibility

• • To make a decision, whether it is small or big, ask the opinion of your children and they prevail over yours

• You rarely impose educational consequences on your children.

CONSEQUENCES OF THIS TYPE OF PARENTING

This type of parenting can have long-term consequences for children, all of them negative. Children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, possess poor social skills, can be demanding of themselves and others, and may feel insecure due to lack of boundaries and guidance. What’s more:

• • They show poor academic performance because their parents have little expectations of them and do nothing to work on the great value of the effort.

• • They make bad decisions. These children have trouble solving problems on their own or making decisions because they have not had a good example to follow.

• • They are more aggressive and understand emotions less. They become selfish beings and believe that the sun revolves around them. They have not had to deal with intense emotions because they always have what they want and when faced with stressful or emotionally difficult situations they can have serious emotional problems.

• • They can commit crimes or take substances. By having so much permissiveness, they see no problem in having bad behaviors.

• • They are not able to manage their time well . Due to the lack of structure and rules at home, children will not learn to follow the limits and may have serious problems in the future to follow social norms.

• Permissive parenting implies a lack of demands and expectations, so these children will not have a sense of self-discipline within. They may have little motivation to achieve goals or be rebellious in any context for not wanting to follow established norms, because they are not used to following them.