Teens must learn to tolerate failure and learn from it, but how do you get there?
An adolescent who fears failure is unlikely to reach his highest potential. The fear of failure can make you not try things or do your best just because you do not feel your own rejection or do not feel the feeling of failure. There are adolescents who with good emotional intelligence know that failure can be used to improve, but there are others who feel immobile by their intense fears.
But the good thing is that adolescents can be taught to overcome their fear of failure so that when it happens to them, they are able to recover faster than before. In this way they will be able, little by little, to overcome the fear of failure. You cannot miss these tips to get it.
HEALTHY INTERNAL CONVERSATIONS
It is important for teens to learn to mate in healthy self-talk, that they learn to say good things to themselves. Sometimes teens draw wrong conclusions about themselves based on failure.
A teenager who fails a test may think he or she is stupid or may drop from a sports team thinking that they will never be good at that sport. This type of negative self-talk will only cause their self-esteem to be undermined and they will not want to strain because they will think it is not worth doing. But it does deserve it.
For this reason, it is necessary that you teach your adolescent to have a healthy internal conversation. Encourage him to avoid self-defeating statements and by teaching him to replace negative thoughts with a more realistic monologue. A more compassionate conversation with yourself can help you recover from failure more effectively.
PRAISE YOUR TEEN’S EFFORT RATHER THAN HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Praising your teenager for his achievements can be counterproductive, if you tell him how proud you are for his grade on the math test or tell him that you think he is the best pianist in the world … even if you say it with a good heart In reality, you are not doing him any favors. You will be conveying that your love for him / her only depends on his / her high performance, regardless of how hard he / she tries.
The compliment should be directly associated with your effort , regardless of the result. If he spends three hours studying each afternoon for a test, praise that effort rather than the grade he was able to get. If he approves, you can make him see that it was worth it and if he fails, we will have to find why the effort has not paid off and find solutions. Praising your teen’s efforts emphasizes the importance of trying their best.
SPEAK UP AND NORMALIZE FAILURE
Talk to your teenager about failure. Discuss the feelings that accompany failure: shame, guilt, sadness, or even anger. Teach your teenager to deal with the discomforts associated with failure.
Talk about successful people who overcame failure and make it clear that failure can serve as a wonderful learning opportunity. He talks about how fear of failure can lead some people to avoid trying some things they might not excel at, and he also talks about the consequences of having that kind of mindset.
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL
Look for opportunities to show your teen how to recover from failure. When you’re not hired for a job or can’t negotiate a business deal, be a good role model. Avoid making excuses or pretending you don’t care … instead, talk about disappointment. Then make it clear how you are going to turn this failure into a learning opportunity so that you can do better in the future.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.