Adopting a child: how to make this decision?
If you want to adopt a boy or girl, what should you take into account to make this decision?
Adoption has existed throughout history in all cultures. What has changed are the reasons and the way to carry it out. The most traditional way was that in which children members of the extended family were adopted, when they were orphaned early, something that was very common, especially in times of war.
In the past, there was no body that mediated in this process or any regulation in this regard. Today this has changed.
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ADOPTION TODAY
As for the main reason why a person decides to adopt today in our society is because of the difficulty of having a biological child . On the other hand, the different fertility methods that exist or surrogacy make adoption sometimes become a second option. Others may be due to ideas or values in people who may have children or who even already have biological children, but wish to expand the family in this way. In many cases, a minor who is part of the family is also adopted.
In any case, what has changed substantially is the way these adoptions are carried out. Today, the State regulates this process and, depending on the place of origin of the adopter or adopters and the country of origin of the minor, the laws are tremendously different. In some cases, the requirements are quite restrictive and this, added to the long and laborious legal procedures, mean that the adoption process can take a long time, even years, in time.
This would be the first thing that the adopter or the couple should consider before making the decision. But there are other aspects that must be well understood to make this decision safely.
LEGAL ASPECTS TO CONSIDER
Regarding the legal field, it is necessary to understand well some terms such as parental authority or guardianship and custody.
Guarding implies the obligation to watch over the minor , keep him in his company, feed him, educate him and provide him with comprehensive care and training. Generally, the parents are the ones who have the custody and custody of their children, but it may be that they occasionally transfer it to a relative or to the public entity in extraordinary cases (illnesses that will temporarily prevent the custody of their child, for example). Guardianship and custody can only be held by one of the parents in divorce cases or by the extended family or a different family in foster care cases.
On the other hand, parental authority is the relationship that exists between parents and children , with all the rights, duties and legal aspects that this implies. In extreme cases, the public administration could withdraw parental authority from some parents and thus assume guardianship of the minor, exercising custody in juvenile centers or handing it over to a foster family .
Therefore, when adopting a child, both things are assumed, their guardianship and custody and their parental authority. Adoption is a civil statute where a parent-child relationship is established, with all that this implies. Adopting, in short, means having a child for all purposes.
REFLECT VERY WELL THE PROS AND CONS
Bearing in mind this basic aspect, that the adoption constitutes a filial relationship and that it is irreversible, it is also worth considering (after verifying whether the necessary requirements that are so different between different countries are met, as we have commented) other issues that go beyond the legal scope
The most important thing is that we are talking about having a child , so we should ask ourselves the same questions as those who decide to try to have a biological child.
Before making this decision, we should consider whether our situation is the ideal one to assume what it means to have a child and by this we mean all areas. T anto a personal and emotional level and at economic level , for example. We should ask ourselves the following questions: Am I mentally prepared to have children? Can I support a minor in my charge?
In the case of adoption there is a difference: the public administration will be in charge of determining the answer to these questions. It is clear that, for better or for worse, no entity can intervene in the decision to have biological children. However, in the case of adoption, the administration must first of all ensure the welfare of the minor, so that a team of professionals will submit future adopters to a series of evaluations to determine their suitability and the final decision.
Although this team that we mentioned will be in charge of explaining to future adopters everything that adoption implies, there are other specific aspects of adoption to take into account, which will vary greatly with the age and origin of the child to be adopted.
The age factor is very important . People often prefer to adopt very young babies or children. Thus, slightly older children tend to have much more difficulty finding an adoptive family. In any case, we must be flexible regarding age since we will probably have to adapt to characteristics that we did not have. After all, adopting is not “choosing a child à la carte.” These professionals will help the adopters to understand the moment of development in which the child is in order to adapt to it as well as possible.
Another important factor is the origin of the minor , which has many implications. Beyond language or culture, the most important thing is what the child has lived through in the years prior to adoption. This experience will be very different between the possible countries of origin.
Everything that has lived will come with it to the new family that will have to adapt to their situation. Possible situations of helplessness, illnesses or abuse will undoubtedly have marked the past and present of the child and it will be the task of the adopters to give them all their support, love and security to accompany them in their future.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.