My daughter is in an abusive relationship, can I help you?
If you have realized that your daughter is with an abuser, help her to get out of that abusive relationship.
You can and should do it. If your teenage daughter is in an abusive relationship, she will need you to guide her on the way to get out of that relationship and realize that it is just a toxic relationship that should not have a place in her life. Seeing your daughter who is suffering at the hands of abuse can be a most painful experience for any parent, it can even make you feel helpless.
The psychological trauma that a victim encounters in an abusive relationship can present you with a challenging situation when you try to help your daughter because, in some abusive relationships, emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a survival strategy for victims of abuse and bullying. Your daughter will need your support during this difficult time … Even if she denies it at first …
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ENCOURAGE HIM TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Encourage your daughter to spend more time with her family and friends. An abuser or mistreated controls the victim, isolating her physically and socially and separates her from any support network. During this time, you need to talk to her privately about your concerns. You need to help her understand the serious nature of the abuse and remind her that the abuse she is experiencing is not her fault.
Explain that you are concerned about their safety and well-being. Assure her of great strengths and remind her of the confidence you have in her. Do things together as a family that make him feel good.
DON’T GET IN THE WAY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP
It is possible that to protect her the first thing you would like to do is get in the way of her relationship. This is a good idea. You must allow her to regain control of her own life and to take the necessary steps to do so. As much as you want to physically remove him from the abusive relationship , you must allow him to recognize what to do in the situation he is in. Support her in the process of acknowledging the realities of the abuse. You should not try to repair the relationship or your daughter.
LISTEN TO HIM AND DO NOT JUDGE HIM
When you’re listening to her don’t judge her, she doesn’t need that right now. Make her feel comfortable knowing that she can trust you when she’s ready to do it. Victims of abuse need to share their stories and feel confident that someone is there to hear them express their emotions. Don’t give your daughter advice on what she needs to do or comment on what you think she is not doing and should be doing. If she thinks you’re blaming or judging her, embarrassment can keep her from trusting you.
GIVE HIM THE INFORMATION HE NEEDS
It needs information so you will have to get it first. Explain the short-term and long-term consequences of the abuse and mistreatment so that she can help her understand the seriousness of the situation. You need to know what the “red flags” are for abusive relationships and identify which areas in your home are safe . Sometimes victims of abuse may feel more comfortable discussing their problems with a trained professional or with a group of women who have experienced some form of abuse.
YOU MUST BE HIS LASTING SUPPORT
You have to give him your support in a lasting way. Remind your daughter that no matter what she chooses to do, you will stay by her side. Remind her that leaving her abuser can be a scary time for her. She is going to need your support and your strength to be able to get out of that tortuous path.
Never take an abuse or think that it is something that will pass by itself. If you ever fear for your daughter’s safety because of her partner, call the police immediately. The abused maintain control by manipulating their victims and they can suffer fear , confusion and depression … something that makes them feel vulnerable and that is why they do not go to the side of the abuser. When you want to help your daughter, you should be sensitive and take into account her mental and physical state.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.