Are you trying to make your children dependent on you?
Perhaps without realizing it you try to make your children dependent on you because you are unable to allow them to “fly” on their own …
Children from birth are dependent on their parents for all their physical and emotional needs to be met, but if you are a good father or mother, little by little they will need you less. This is normal. Parents who are unable or unwilling to let fly and allow their young adult children to grow up and become independent may believe that they are doing the right thing.
While these parents believe they are doing the right thing, they are actually hurting their children by protecting them from life … they are hurting them enormously. Parents who are known as overprotective or “helicopters” begin this pattern when their children are young, and they do it to protect them from disappointment and mistakes. Sifting continues through children’s school years, into adulthood.
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WHY DO “HELICOPTER” PARENTS EXIST?
Parents loom over their children, starting when the children are toddlers or preschoolers. As children grow older, their parents do not allow them to try out new skills, behaviors, or beliefs. Instead, they stay close to their children when trying to protect them from the normal harm or disappointments of life.
During the college years, parents can continue to float, albeit over long distances. When they hear that their child is having a hard time with a teacher or classmate, parents call or email the dean of students or the office of student services, demanding that they find a way to relieve stress on their child. . As a result, your child never learns to trust himself and to find ways to solve problems.
Overprotective parents are often very involved in their children’s lives , even as adults. They are unwilling to relinquish control of their children’s lives, and they hinder their children’s innate attempts to become whole and grown people. As their parents do everything for them, they become dependent and incapable.
EXAMPLES OF PARENTING WHEN CHILDREN ARE DEPENDENT
The co-dependent father could be the elderly mother who demands that her married son spend a certain amount of time with her every week, and if he does not say that she does not love him enough. The parent who becomes depressed as his child grows into adulthood, believing that his child will no longer need him , is co-dependent. The mother who hopes her daughter will take dance classes and become the dancer she never becomes begins to live vicariously through her daughter’s dance practices and recitals is also a codependent mother .
These are all examples of dependent parenting. These parents have allowed their own emotional needs to take over the parent-child relationship when they tried to provide for their children. By doing so, they risk losing their children.
THEY DO NOT LET THEM TAKE FLIGHT
Some co-dependent parents are unable to abandon their children as they pass through adolescence and reach early adulthood. Starting earlier in their children’s lives, these parents begin unhealthy parenting patterns that take over the originally healthy parent-child relationship. Examples include talking to the soccer coach or teacher when your children come home upset about something that happened or not allowing them to resolve conflicts with friends.
To reduce the risk of losing adult children, these parents must understand the dependency relationship. As your children begin college, they find themselves in the student guidance center, unable to cope with being independent young adults. It can be compared to students who have had parents of drug addicts because they are very dependent on their parents and cannot make small decisions.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.
