When a loved one dies: help your child cope with grief
Children need to be helped to cope so that they understand how important that person was.
The emotional pain of the loss of a loved one is complicated for adults, the grieving process is often difficult for everyone, but it is particularly more difficult for children. Children do not always understand that when a loved one dies, they will never be seen, felt, or hugged …
It is necessary to help children to cope with grief so that they understand how important that person was in their life and how that pain they feel should be channeled in the best possible way. The pain will always be inside you, but you have to learn to live with it.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS
Active listening and communication
Here are some ways you can support children in the ownership process. You will need to keep the lines of communication open and encourage him to share his thoughts and feelings without pressuring him to do so. The mere fact that he sees strong emotional support in you will be very important for him to cope better with the situation.
Hear him tell stories about your loved one, whether this person is a parent, grandparent, or someone else. Sharing stories can be very healing for a child. When it comes to emotions, validate that it’s okay to be sad and even angry, but gently remind your loved one that your loved one wouldn’t want you to feel this way.
Focus on the good memories
Try to help children focus on the happy memories of the person who is hurting and celebrate these precious moments whenever possible. It is important to help children continue to feel a connection to their loved one and to encourage the importance of that person in their lives.
Helping to maintain this bond will have a positive impact on them that will last a lifetime. The following are ways to help grieving children cope with loss:
- Create and decorate a memory box. A child can fill it with items that remind him of his loved one, such as jewelry, photographs, clothing, glasses, favorite quotes, poetry, etc.
- Write a letter or make a card to tell the person who is missing what you have been doing since that person passed away, as well as anything else you would like to share. They can choose to take it to the cemetery and read it aloud at the grave or where its ashes were scattered. Pretend to “call heaven”. Depending on the child’s family and their religious beliefs, this can be a very therapeutic tool for children to pretend to have a conversation with their deceased loved one and share what they have in mind.
- Create a scrapbook, which includes photographs of them with this special someone, as well as their favorite memories. Write a story and add illustrations …
- Listen to the music that the deceased liked or sing his favorite songs.
- Make or buy a new frame to put one of your favorite photos of the person you lost in it.
- Giving children space and time to talk about their feelings and allowing them to choose how they would like to remember their loved one is essential. When they are ready to share it with you, listen with loving acceptance and without judgment. There are no wrong feelings about loss, and it is okay if they choose not to participate in an activity.
- Remind children that they will always have their loved one, be it their mother, father, grandfather, etc., and that will never change. This person did not stop being your parents or grandparents, etc. the day he passed away. Continue to encourage open communication with children, as well as opportunities to remember the person who was so special to them.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.