If you feel that you repeat things to your children a thousand times and that they seem to ignore you … Do not be overwhelmed, you are not the first father in the world that happens to him nor will you be the last. ‘Go brush your teeth’, ‘Turn off the television’, ‘Clean your room’ … These are just some examples of phrases that parents repeat until they get frustrated and end up shouting the order thinking that their children are literally ‘passing’ from them.
When children ‘ignore the first time’ it burns the energy of the parents since repeating things over and over again is tremendously exhausting. Perhaps your child has learned to stop listening to you because he knows that you will repeat the information again later and may waste a little more time.
They may also have learned to distract you with complaints, doing something else, starting an argument, or ignoring you. Since you’re probably busy doing something, it’s easy to forget for a moment that he hasn’t done what you asked him to do. When you have to ask him again, and you see that everything is still the same, frustration appears. The third time you repeat it, you already do it with anger and therefore, the tension and conflict begin (again).
STEPS FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO LISTEN TO YOU THE FIRST TIME
It is not too late to change this pattern. Use these simple steps every time you ask your child to do something. It may take a while to get used to putting them into practice, but when you do, it will be worth it since your children will gradually learn to listen to you the first time without delaying too much time.
Once you do, you can save time and frustration both in the short and long term. With practice this will become a habit and the results will be that you will get less frustration in your life, less stress, anxiety and anger on both sides. In addition, your children will learn to respect you in a healthy way and they will learn self-discipline. These are the steps to follow:
1- Establish a time frame. Decide what you want the child to do and the time frame that you will accept for its completion: immediately, in 15 minutes, etc.
2- Get their attention. At the very least, you will have to make eye contact. Don’t yell from the kitchen. If you are busy in another room, ask the child to come to you before making the request.
3- Be specific. Tell him specifically what you want him to do. That way he knows what you expect from his behavior.
4- Observe that it complies. Watch to make sure your child starts doing what you’ve asked. Do not do anything else again until you make sure that he has complied with what you have said.
5- Praise success. Congratulate your child for doing what you asked. This is very important if you want it to be repeated in the future.
6- Verify that you have understood what happens if you do not meet the requirements. If he does not do what you have asked or does not complete the task, you will have to ask him what you have asked him to do.
7- Repeat it if necessary.
8- Repeat it again if necessary.
9- If you have repeated it and still does not comply … If it does not do what you asked after repeating it and knowing that it has understood, then stop the world and do not do anything else until it does what you asked … If it cannot be applied consequences .
10- Time for rest. If the child has a tantrum or continues with his avoidance behavior, the short wait time applies. After he does what you asked him to do, don’t let him go or he will learn to avoid responsibilities with tantrums.