How to get your child to solve his problems
If you want your children to learn to solve their own problems, do not miss these strategies to achieve it.
Before children learn to solve problems, they may cry at any difficulty or become frustrated because they feel that they are not capable of doing things on their own. A child who cries usually does so because he feels frustrated and because crying gets others to solve the problems that make him feel bad emotionally.
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FRUSTRATION AS A SIGNAL TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
But it is the duty of parents to teach children the appropriate strategies so that they are able to solve the problems they have and that in this way, low tolerance for frustration is something to be forgotten.
If a child cries but problems are not solved and he is guided to learn how to do it himself, in the future he will have better resolution skills to be able to solve what is causing him frustration on his own. Because children will continue to get frustrated, it is normal, adults do it too! But they will learn to use their frustration as a signal to calm down and think of solutions.
IF HE’S FRUSTRATED, DON’T TELL HIM TO SHUT UP
If your child is crying because he’s frustrated, don’t tell him to shut up or leave you alone. Don’t do that because he needs you! Your child is asking you for help with his attitude but you do not have to solve the problem just by not listening to him, you must give him the necessary tools so that he is aware of what is happening and seeks solutions in a creative way.
Stay calm and don’t get nervous. Children know that nervous parents will more easily give them what they want or solve their problems. Do not fall for this, what he really needs is that you teach him and not that you solve everything. If you do not learn from your mistakes or do not learn to find creative solutions to different situations, you will grow up feeling insecure and incapable, something that will undoubtedly negatively affect your self-esteem and your perception of yourself.
DON’T REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR
If parents really want children to learn more mature, respectful, and constructive responses to life’s frustrations, there is no reward for bad behavior. When you quietly refuse to participate in the infuriating tantrum, your child experiences a learning moment … and it is critical to their development!
If he’s in the middle of a tantrum, don’t give in to his pretensions. Make him see that you will not waste time on bad behavior. You must transform bad behavior into a child who knows how to solve problems in a constructive way.
For example, if your child gets frustrated because he can’t tie the buttons on his pants, ask him what’s wrong instead of taking it for granted and ask how you can help him. He will tell you to fasten it yourself, but you will not, you will tell him that you will teach him to do it so that he will be able to do it right next time or at least better than he has done so far, and without getting nervous.
If your child insists that you fasten the button, you will have to stand your ground and teach him to do it himself as well. It may take some time, but that’s okay, time is needed to learn new things. You are the teacher and your child is learning everything from you. Use positive words as you praise your child’s efforts for trying, even if it doesn’t come out right the first time.
TURN THE SITUATION INTO A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE
It is necessary that the negative feeling of frustration disappears and you give way to a positive experience so that your child learns that he is capable of achieving it, that although it costs at first, if he puts in enough effort he will be able to do better the next time, until he does. dominate completely. This little new skill is a first step towards your child’s independence.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.