When you have young children, it is difficult for them to have the idea that siblings have to share. Younger children, we speak between 2 to 4 years , usually play alone. Although sometimes we take them to the park or they are in the nursery and interactions from time to time with other children, toys are always usually something personal, a possession .
Sharing is one of the most difficult social skills to teach a child, and it is that the idea of sharing has not yet entered their roles. This can be increased when you also have a little brother. Before sharing, the little ones develop the concept of property. Hence the importance of making them understand what belongs to everyone in the family and what belongs to each one, such as toys.
As the task of teaching sharing is very complicated , here are some tips for parents to guide their children in generosity.
DO NOT FORCE SIBLINGS TO SHARE
Although many parents feel bad that their children do not share their toys with each other, it is necessary to take into account the perception that the smallest of the house have with their belongings.
Therefore, the role of parents in this case is to help siblings understand the importance of sharing. We will never teach our son to share if we always take something he is playing with to lend it to his brother or to include it in his game. On the contrary, we have to make him understand. In this way we can ask him when the brother wants to play with his toys: ” Do you want to leave your brother when you finish your toys? ” . Before this we can have a negative or positive answer, which parents must accept.
The idea of forcing the child to share does not teach any lesson , but for them it means interrupting what they are doing to give something to another out of obligation. This more than teaching, turns the act of sharing into a competition .
ASK THEIR PERMISSION BEFORE SHARING THEIR STUFF
Like adults, children will have certain toys that they do not want to loan to anyone, even their siblings. This we must respect. If we offer his brother a toy that the other does not want to share, we will create a distrust in the parents and an even greater possession.
And if by any chance a brother of his wants to use it, we must ask his permission before using it. As we will have to do the opposite when this happens. If we force him to share, we will create unnecessary competition between our children.
Even asking them will help them express their feelings and create empathy between the siblings. In this way, parents will be able to know the reasons why their children do not want to share or why they do so.
TURNS TO PLAY
Siblings may not feel very sure of how their possessions are, hence the refusal to share may come from, so that they do not steal anything.
Given this, it is best to take turns to share the toys . In this way, we will help our child to realize that there is another person waiting to play with his toy and to be able to control his impulses when he has to wait.
In this way, we not only show you how good it is to share, but that things are not achieved by force and that you do not get everything you want at the moment. In addition, we will not force you to share your toys at the moment but on your turn. This reinforces the capacity for empathy and patience in the siblings.
SET AN EXAMPLE AT HOME
As happens in the lives of the little ones, their most important and immediate reference is the parents. We have always heard that the example must be set first at home, and this is very true.
Therefore, when we are at home we must find any excuse to teach our children to share. We can teach them with everyday things like handing out a few pieces of cake for each member of the family or showing them how good it is to exchange instead of snatching.
Play games and group activities , in which the whole family participates and in which the help of others is required. You can also share your things with your children and then ask them to lend you something of theirs, so you will all be part of the game.
DO NOT SCOLD THEM FOR NOT SHARING
Playgroups and play meetings with other friends are a great way for children to learn to share with other children , so they can then copy this example at home. But sometimes it doesn’t work out as the parents expect. Faced with the refusal of our children to share, parents should not despair, much less scold their siblings.
If we scold our son for not sharing, we will create resentful behavior in him towards his brother . The best thing in these cases is to reinforce his behavior when he shares another toy with his brother. In this way, instead of scolding you, we will reward you when you share with your brother.
It is best to be patient with our children. The reason they don’t loan out their toys is not because they don’t like each other or because they are selfish. Over time you will see how from the age of five they will not mind sharing their toys with their brother and they will enjoy playing in company.