Skin to skin with dad: the most important first contact

Thanks to science, it has been confirmed that, after giving birth, a newborn already has the necessary potential to capture stimuli in its environment. And, although the baby’s body is in an immature phase in which it has a lot to develop, its senses are active and begin to show a series of primary reflexes.

PATERNAL BOND

In addition to this, newborn babies are prepared to establish a bond, and when we say bond we mean that intense emotional attachment that is created between parents and their baby. During the first months of life, the newborn has a very close relationship with the mother, but this bond should not be unique. The development of the baby also depends on the father . And it is that the mother’s attachment to her child is just as important as that of the father figure, since both want to fill their little one with love and affection, be skin-to-skin, protect him and take care of him.

Scientists are still learning many things about this affective bond, but it is known that this union gives the baby the first model of intimate relationships and strengthens the baby’s sense of security and positive self-esteem , so the father of the family should also play a fundamental role.

The father must quickly learn to know his little one, he has to dedicate time to him and gain confidence with him. It is important that the father immediately establishes a physical communication with the newborn, skin to skin , to take care of him from the first day, to talk to him, to pamper him, making him get used to it. But the role of father begins long before his birth.

One way to begin to bond with your child if you are a father is to start by attending childbirth courses with your wife, something that shows a close and active involvement during pregnancy . Nor should we forget something even more important, such as the presence of the father at the birth, as it will help you to be aware more quickly of the new role that you have to assume with the birth of your little one.

THE NEWBORN BABY PERCEIVES EVERYTHING

Many believe that newborn babies are completely unaware of what is going on around them. However, this is a mistake because no one imagines everything that a newborn is capable of perceiving and grasping. At an early age, the human brain has many neural connections that then diminish as the body matures.

As a parent, and more so if it is a new one, you can take advantage of this potential that babies present to give them better opportunities to learn and thus enhance their development in a positive way that results in many benefits.

First of all, it ‘s important to consider your little one’s sense of sight . Although it is true that the newborn during his first months of life has not fully developed his sense of sight, since they are only capable of reaching 20 or 25 cm at most, he can identify the contrasts that outline his father’s face and develop a pattern to be able to identify different faces. Because of this, it is important to maintain good eye contact with the little one so that they gain confidence and get used to you.

On the other hand, although newborns do not know what a person is saying, they are capable of capturing voices and differentiating them by intonation, tone and by how that sound is produced in the environment. The mother’s voice will be registered as a frequency in her brain because she hears it very frequently and constantly. Therefore, it is important that the father figure is present in this aspect so that he can also recognize your voice perfectly and does not miss it when you speak to him . The important thing is to always be skin to skin and very close so that your child gets used to you.

Although all of this may seem strange or incredible, the voice is archived and well defined. Moreover, it is thought that from the first trimester of gestation, the fetus begins to adapt its brain and hearing to the mother’s language. Therefore, the acquisition of voices initiates the development of language in the baby once it leaves the mother’s womb.

LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS

Unlike a few years ago, the figure of the father is becoming more and more equal to that of the mother in terms of the care and attention of the newborn . The father figure is now more involved in the education of their children, ceasing to be a unique task of mothers, something fundamental for families to be more balanced and equal. In addition, the feeling of love has to be present in every aspect of human life because the love that is given to a child from infancy determines his adult love.

As a parent you should know that the best love that can be given to a child is unconditional love , the one that surpasses all borders and can do everything. If you do it like this, you will always be right. Do not be frustrated by how your child feels, because surely you feel the greatest love in the world towards him, a love that you have never felt before and that takes you to a level never imagined. And it is that they feel that love and it is reciprocal because they know that their parents are the people who love them the most and will protect them.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES

To educate a child in love is to educate him in mental health . If a child spends his entire childhood without feeling that love from his father, without feeling a skin-to-skin relationship and affection, it will have negative consequences in his adult life such as low self-esteem, the need to be accepted by him. other people, fears or insecurities.

These children will become adults laden with emotional lacks that will cause them a constant feeling of unhappiness . However, if children feel unconditionally loved by their father from a young age, they will grow up feeling confident and their emotional life will be much more stable and balanced. It is essential that you show your child that you will always be supporting him and his side, in the good and, above all, in the bad.

However, this does not mean that you have to ignore everything and never scold him for fear that he will feel less loved. You have to know how to educate a child well based on a series of principles. A good dad has to scold you if his son swears, if he is jealous of others , if he breaks something , if he hits his brothers or if he does not respect others. All this means that you have to transmit a love that is above everything, but following a series of values to become good people in life. In addition, we must let children assume the consequences of their actions, in this way we promote responsibility from a young age.

TIPS FOR DADS

It is clear that the father’s first contact with his baby is the most important, but it is just as essential to maintain it over time . By this I mean that you show him that you always remember him and never miss an important event for him such as his birthday, his graduation, accompany him to the final of his favorite soccer team or to the end of year function. That is, spend time with him since his childhood to have good communication and that when the age comes to talk with him about sex or other conflicts that may arise in his adolescence , you have no problem and you can solve it much faster.

On the other hand, try to understand that in the lives of children there are many stages and not the same at all. Childhood, adolescence and adulthood are not easy stages, and more if you add that they try to attract attention in each of them, so you have to learn to listen to them and put yourself in their place, even if for you it is silly. what happens to him or something more difficult. The father figure always has to be there, skin to skin and every day firmer and more solid .

Finally, spend time with him so that he sees that he can always count on you. And it is that some men find it much more difficult to say things or show love to their children in the form of loving words. For this reason, you must open your mind, put shame aside and show that complicity to your son so that, in addition, he can also dedicate beautiful words to you that will fill you as a person and even more so as a father. In short, you have a closer or more distant relationship with your child, what is certain is that parenting also changes parents’ lives .