Tips to prevent your son or daughter from biting
Many children bite in response to negative emotions, but we can teach them to stop repeating that behavior.
No parent wants their son or daughter to bite others or to be bitten by other children, so parents will always do their best to prevent it from happening. This problem is quite common in kindergartens when children are very young and do not have the appropriate language ability, they want to express their anger or discomfort in some way.
But, to prevent a child from biting and teach him what the correct behavior is, it is first necessary to understand why he bites , when he does it and what he is expressing with that bite, only in this way can ways be found to prevent him from biting. do it again.
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WHY DOES CHILDREN BITE
If you want to combat the problem that your child bites, it is key that you understand why it happens . On many occasions, aggressiveness has nothing to do with a lack of emotional expression. Not all children bite with the intention of hurting others, in fact, many young children do not understand the harm they do by biting.
Parents need to understand their children’s biting as a form of communication and not as a sign of aggressiveness or bad behavior. Once parents can understand this, then they will be able to find a solution to the problem to meet their child’s emotional needs . It is important to be observant in the circumstances and to know when the child bites and why he may be doing it.
Children can bite for different reasons : to express emotions, to attract the attention of adults, to experience how the body works, to defend themselves if they do not have good language skills to help them express their discomfort, when they feel threatened, when They have an internal emotional problem without externalizing, to control other children or people who do what they want, when they feel frustrated or angry, etc.
WHAT TO DO WHEN A CHILD BITES
When your child bites you will always have to react quickly but remain calm. Never bite him to make him feel what he is doing, because in addition to the fact that that hurts him, it will not help to reduce the behavior, but you will be transmitting that he can do it freely, since you (his greatest example to follow) also do it. Children do not need to know that violence causes violence, but what it is that they have done that is wrong.
In order to prevent children from biting, it is necessary to act whenever a case occurs. Some forms of action are:
– Intervention
After finding out what the triggers are and before your child bites another child, you will need to pick him up and take him away from the person he wanted to bite. He will need to be by your side in a quiet place to be able to calm down . If a young child is teething and wants to relieve his pain, you can give him soothing toys to chew on, but in no case allow another person or child to do so. When this happens it is necessary to say a loud, clear and firm “no” and carefully and lovingly push him away.
– Express emotions
When a child has bitten or is about to bite, when things have calmed down a bit, it is necessary to teach children a more appropriate way of learning to express the negative feelings that have caused them to bite others. As this action is not aggressive but emotional, you can show your affection and hug him so that he realizes that hugging is a stronger and healthier emotion than biting.
If a child bites to defend himself, he should be taught how to handle the situation with a “stop” sign such as pushing the other away or pushing the other away. This way the child will be giving a clear message to the other child without the need to bite. If the child can speak and explain what is happening to him, it will also be appropriate for him to seek the reference adult to explain what has happened to him. In addition, it will be necessary to offer them words so that they learn to show their anger or negative feelings.
– Teach them what is wrong
When your child bites it is necessary to use simple but forceful words: “no”, “that’s wrong”, “stop biting”. If they are in a group with more children or people, it will be necessary to remove them from the situation so that they feel that it is not okay and that their behavior is not accepted. If the child has the ability to understand things then you can explain that biting is wrong and why you don’t like it.
– Reduce attention
Sometimes young children can bite to get attention , when this happens when your child bites you should put yourself between your child and the person who is biting and say a resounding “no”. You need to show your sympathy and compassion for the victim so that your child will be receiving unproductive care that will not satisfy them (as opposed to scolding or paying attention to them).
If, for example, a child bites for a candy or for a toy, it will be necessary to take it off for a while, if he tries to control the situation by biting again, he must put the part that is biting so that it bites, warning that there will be consequences. This will make the child stop trying to keep biting.
– Praise good behavior
But not everything has to be bad. Children, with good guidance from their parents and with a lot of affection in the correct behaviors, will be able to learn what is expected of them and that biting is not a good option . When a child corrects his behavior and realizes that biting is wrong, then you should be generous with praise. But in order for him to understand why you are praising him, it is important that you be specific: “Very good”, “Well yes”.
If older children are unable to control their impulsivity and bite their peers, it may not be an isolated episode of aggressiveness either, but may be suffering emotional wounds that must be healed as soon as possible so that they can return to have your emotional balance.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.