Why do couples argue in the family

When a couple decides to form a family, they must fight every day to find harmony. Each one has a different experience and experiences and this can cause certain discrepancies to appear at times. It is essential for the good of the family and the good growth of the children that a couple who have formed a family know what the most common causes of discussion are in order to be able to address them effectively whenever necessary.

First, it is necessary to take into account that not all of us are clones intellectually and emotionally, we each have our own idiosyncrasies and therefore differences of opinion, and this is totally normal and also healthy! But nobody wants disagreements to end in arguments that end in fights and that fill a home with hostility … and worst, this could damage your relationship and directly affect your children. But it can be avoided!

If you have been arguing too much with your partner lately, you should understand why it is happening and learn to speak more assertively and fairly. But how do you get it? Keep reading.

THREE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS

If you often fight with your partner, then you will have to ask yourself these three questions:

• • Why are you fighting

• • Do you know what you fight about?

• Do you fight for something that will never be solved?

To identify the answers, you must know that there are some fairly common causes why a home can conflict.

10 COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICT

1. 1. Chores Perhaps one does more housework than the other and feels the scale is out of balance. If this happens, find the reason. Does one part of the couple work long hours and do not have time to wash the dishes? Or even if you have time, do you prefer to do other things like watch television or update social networks?

1. 1. Money . Money is often the main topic of discussion in many families. It may be that you do not have enough or that the money you have you do not want to spend on things that seem important to your partner. The economic issue is usually one of the main causes of divorce in a couple.

1. 1. Children . Another discussion could be whether or not to have children, how many to have, how to discipline them, how to raise them, what kind of education to provide, etc. In any case, divergent opinions about children can cause friction in a couple .

1. 1. Sex Sex is an important part of married life. Problems about sex can be related to when you have it, how you have it, how often you have it, and even whether or not you enjoy watching porn.

1. 1. Infidelity . This goes hand in hand with sex, but it is also a matter of trust. It is a huge hurdle to overcome after trust has been broken. Jealousy can even see infidelity where there is none.

1. 1. Time How do you spend time in your family? Are you busy doing other chores instead of spending it with your children and your partner? Quality family time is essential for a couple to remain strong and stable.

1. 1. Work . Maybe when you get home you take your problems home and pay for it with less you have to do: your family. This can also be a serious problem that affects both the partner and the children. Lack of work and financial worries or excess of it can also turn into serious problems.

1. 1. Annoying habits . It is possible that you have a habit that bothers your partner such as leaving clothes through the house and not taking them to their place. This may be so irritating that it creates a lot of friction with your partner. Habits can be quirky or fun, or they can become the root of fights when neither partner is willing to alter theirs.

1. 1. Substance abuse . Substance abuse is destructive and highly problematic at the couple and family level. If both you and your partner have substance abuse problems that you do not want to acknowledge, it is possible that harmful use is being put before your partner or children. This will always bring problems.

1. The in-laws . You can’t choose your family but you can’t choose your in-laws either. They are part of the package … You can only choose your partner. But that your in-laws come within the “family pack” of your partner does not mean that you have to like … Avoid generating conflicts so that problems are not created with your partner.

ARGUMENTS ARE INEVITABLE

These are some of the reasons why couples often fight, but of course, there will always be more destructive fights than others. If you argue or fight because you like to win or get away with it, it is a bad reason to do so because it means that you only want to be in control when your partner does not follow “your rules.”

Criticizing is an annoying habit that can also cause a couple to fight regularly and children suffer from these hurtful comments. When an annoying habit is mentioned it is one thing, but when it is ridiculed it is no longer healthy.

Trying to resolve these disagreements is essential for a marriage to be solid. Fights are inevitable but it is your duty to find the best way to solve it. The feelings should not be hidden but you must have a healthy way of being able to show them to the partner.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

First, you will have to take responsibility for your own actions, even if you only do it internally.  Of course, it is best to share your feelings, but at least examine the possibility that your partner is right. It is necessary to stop to breathe and listen to the other with empathy and share your own opinions with assertiveness.

Remember that listening and understanding does not mean giving in, just trying to get the positive out of the situation. Pick your fights and don’t do it for everything. Your marriage is worth much more than pride and the family nucleus cannot be damaged by that, right?

If it seems insurmountable, if the fights keep coming despite all your efforts to improve family life, it may be time to seek outside help. Consider seeking the services of a couples therapist or mediator. If there is still love between you, all is not lost.